Catherine v. DeAnna
It's a Bachelor winner versus a Bachelorette. Both happily married to a member of Bachelor Nation - but who's the favorite?
Kelly v. Kalon
A legitimate and stellar sense of humor versus a poorly-timed and oftentimes offensive sense of humor. This one shouldn't be close.
Desiree v. Ed
The Bachelorette Next Door versus the former winner of the green shorty shorts fame. He rocked Chubbies before they were a thing. She designs glorious wedding gowns. These two have nothing in common.
Ashley H. v. the Soules Sisters
A beloved Bachelorette and new mom versus the sisters who picked Jade for the Cinderella date. I don't even know what to do with this contest.
Juan Pablo v. J.P.
I LOVE that the universe pitted JP vs JP. I doubt this will be close, but I love the symmetry.
Clare v. Jade
Clare never leaves quietly. She goes out in a blaze of glory. And Jade's a wild mustang. Yeehaw.
Graham v. Marquel
Bachelor Nation's most eligible nice guy and the Cookie Monster. Were these guys buddies on Bachelor in Paradise? I can't even remember.
Emily v. Whitney
Two lovely Southern ladies. A winner/Bachelorette and the most recent winner. I can see these two sitting down together for a nice glass of sweet tea. Or tearing each other's hair out. Equally.
Jen v. Ben
Nope, not the Afflecks. Former winner/Bachelorette Jen Schefft and former runner up/Bachelor Ben Flajnik. She was engaged to a winery heir. He owns a winery. Maybe these two have more in common than I initially thought? Nope. Not at all.
Brooks v. Cody
Brooks broke Des's heart. Cody won over Michelle Money...for a while. This is an interesting matchup, for sure.
Marcus v. Michael
I see this one being close. Marcus is a lover. Michael Stagliano is a fighter. A Bachelor Pad Warrior. Bring it, boys.
Britt v. Ryan
This contest wins "most random matchup." These two would have literally nothing to talk about, if they were to ever encounter one another.
Bob v. J.J.
Bachelor Bob versus the "Panstapreneur." This won't even be close.
Ashley S. v. Ali
I love this matchup. Ashley S. has developed a huge fanbase, but Ali is one of the best-known Bachelorettes. How will this one go? I'm just not sure.
Carly v. Lucy
I can only dream that one day these two encounter one another. And then we get to see an interview with Carly telling us her impression of Naked Lucy. And then an interview with Lucy saying how she doesn't care what Carly thinks of her. I would love that SO MUCH.
Chris B. v. Josh
Chris Bukowski would be on every single episode of every single Bachelor franchise, if the producers would let him. Josh is past it - or at least, that's the feeling I get. He may prove me wrong when Bachelor in Paradise rolls around. I don't think this one will be close.
Courtney v. Michelle
Evil/Awesome Courtney Robertson. Evil/Awesome Michelle Money. This won't be close, but it should be.
Nick v. Tasos
I had to include Tasos. I love him. Unfortunately, he doesn't stand a chance against Nick.
Trista v. Kelsey
Longtime Bachelor sweetheart. Newest Bachelor villainess. I actually have no idea which way this one will go.
Drew v. Melissa
Who? versus someone who is actually better known for Dancing with the Stars.
Lacy v. Becca
Boobs versus Virgin. Fun times.
Nikki v. Wes
I don't even know what to say about these two. But I actually think this one will be close.
Sean v. Kaitlyn
He was a born-again virgin. She introduced herself with a sex joke. Perfection.
Sharleen v. Jimmy Kimmel
I know, Jimmy's not really a Bachelor character. But he did well this season, so he's included. However, he stands no chance against the fantastic Sharleen.
Jake v. Tierra
He's a quasi-pilot, and she "has sparkle." Game on, playas.
Jef v. Chris Siegfried
Two winners. One who didn't last, one who did. I think it's clear who SHOULD win here, but you never know. Skateboard boy may just take it.
Chris Soules v. Molly
He's busy doing the cha cha. She's perhaps the most real "winner" this show has ever seen. I don't love her chances, but I am rooting for Miss Molly. And not just because she recently threw her daughter a Minnie Mouse birthday party that my kids would lose their $h!t over.
Andi v. Jason
Bachelorette versus Bachelor. This one will be fun.
Jillian v. Zak
I probably wouldn't have included Zak, but I'm desperately hoping he goes head-to-head with his sister at some point. But he has to get past Jillian first!
Chris L. v. Brad
There are so many Chrises in Bachelor Nation. This is Cape Cod Chris. Ali's runner-up. Married to former contestant Peyton. Brad Womack is the only Bachelor to ever double-down on this series.
Arie v. Chris H.
Poor Arie. If he hadn't drawn such a strong first-round competitor, I bet he would have gone far in this competition. However, I don't see this happening for him.
KardAshley v. Clare's Raccoon
Probably my favorite matchup of all. Eyelashes v. Raccoon Eyes. This is epic.