Ben's Bachelor Blog (People)
As much as I had gotten used to (only temporarily) dating multiple women at once, it still felt weird to go from meeting Amanda's family one day to meeting Lauren's the next. I'll never really get used to this, and I don't want to, honestly.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Yahoo! TV)
I really had a hard time understanding exactly what went on at JoJo’s family’s house. Her brothers described themselves as protective, and that’s good and appropriate, but they seemed to be harboring some deeper frustrations that they were not expressing to Ben. In one moment they were listening and saying that JoJo and Ben should proceed with caution, but then moments later they were accusing Ben of being fake or calculating, and I think that those comments were a bit over the line.
You never really know what you’re signing up for. As formulaic as The Bachelor is, it’s also tailor-made for each individual contestant. Even if I were to go back on the show knowing what I know now, with how customized the experience is, I have no doubt I would still be an emotional mess.
The reason these girls can’t tell him “I love you” is because they aren’t really in love yet. Can I be 100% certain they aren’t in love? Well no, of course not. But I can say that EVERY person I’ve ever talked to on the show has told me that they weren’t really in love on the show, they just thought they were in the moment.
Before Lauren and Ben enter her family's house we hear more (over)protective chatter. Basically a producer is sitting in the kitchen with the family asking questions like, "Do you guys have any doubts about Ben? Are you worried about Lauren getting hurt?" Then, in complete sentences, the family answers these questions.
Okay, guys, shake it off — it’s time to meet JoJo’s family. Damn, is it me or do JoJo’s parents live in Cher’s house from Clueless?
Ben managed to make Lauren's sister feel better by sobbing profusely about his feels, and it's safe to say his hometown visit was a home run. That said, Lauren decided not to profess her love after a wise family member reminded her that Ben has three other girlfriends.
Ben heads to Laguna Beach, Calif., where he’s going to spend a day at the beach with Amanda, who’s currently perfecting the art of running down a beach without losing her strapless top. And by perfecting, I mean that she doesn’t flash anyone, so we’ll take it as a win.
Caila's family introduced Ben to a spread of Filipino food for us to salivate over, and we became very, very afraid of Caila's sharp-eyed father. There's something unsettling about him, and we were happy to finally get out of Ohio after a relatively uneventful trip.
Did anyone else feel super uncomfortable by everything Caila's dad said? Case in point: when he asked Ben "What it's like dealing with microwave fame?" (A quick Google search indicates this means being famous for basically nothing.)
On the other hand, Caila's mom – braces and all – was really excited about Ben, though she did make the whole room feel weird when she point-blank asked him if he'd ever met any Filipinos before.
Well, it's time for the rose ceremony and the ladytestants head back to the man — DAMN JoJo, you look good in that dress! She's locking this down.
This post-credits moment is the most perfect awkward moment of the season. Everything about is perfect: the fact that it's these little boys making this gesture of being protective when there's NO WAY they'd be ready to handle a real sex talk with Ben. They're probably (hopefully) virgins.
After a grueling day of chase and sandcastles, Ben is subjected to real life with children, which consists of Charley crying the whole drive home while Kinsley asks for water. Ben gets out of the car looking like me at 6PM every night before I have my Xanax and wine.
Charley is rubbing her eyes, as everyone contemplates whether they should put her down for the nap. I throw my copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child at the tv screen until Amanda and Ben take her up to her crib and let her cry it out.
Hometown weeks are stressful, y’all. If chugging the last sips of champagne straight from the bottle is what you have to do in order to get through the night, I say go for it.
I have no excuses for Ben’s short shorts.
When they arrive at her childhood home, we learn that Lauren’s family calls her “LoLo,” and since Ben is 26, I bet he’s now thinking of what a threesome with LoLo and JoJo would be like.
This was actually the date from Hell. First the family greets JoJo by mauling her while making really f***ing weird noises. Then we realize one of the brothers is really hot and from another dating show, Ready for Love. Then the brothers have a talk with Ben while he is DEFINITELY s***ting his pants. Then JoJo has a conversation with her barred-out mother about how she’s scared he’s gonna break her heart to which she responds “naaaaoooooooooo Joelle, you ahhh beautiful. Who is Ben again?”
Then everyone but JoJo was in the kitchen having a family discussion and told Ben that HE is there for the wrong reasons!!!!
Sidenote: JoJo’s house is nicer than the Bachelor house.
Then the mom drinks champagne out of the bottle. Which was amazing.
Hometown dates actually don't matter at all. Because Ben's not going to let a foreign mom or a couple of overbearing brothers get between him and slice of poontang pie. At this point, it doesn't matter if Lauren B takes him to meet ma and pa at the Avery salvage yard or if Jojo's dad turns out to be Jerry Sandusky or if Amanda's daughters are conjoined evil twins.
The first hometown is with Amanda in Laguna Beach. I kept fantasizing that Stephen Coletti is secretly her baby daddy and Hilary Duff was going to do an impromptu performance of “Come Clean.”
Reality Steve *Spoilers!*
Amanda was cast on this show strictly because of her story, she was attractive, and she was likable. Did they ever think Ben was gonna choose her? Absolutely not. But parts of her hometown gave the audience what they wanted, along with giving JJ Lane a boner. Good luck, Amanda. You might wanna block all Colorado area codes you see on your phone from now on.
7 Things that were so dumb they were great on The Bachelor (Funny or Die)
Weirdest part of the whole episode is that Ben didn’t ask any of the parents for permission to propose to their daughters. That’s usually standard Bachelor bulls***. Maybe he’s young and not continuing that tradition? Maybe he’s not in love with any of these dolts? Maybe he’s in love with all of them. Who cares. Me. I care. That’s why I’m here.
Us Weekly Breakdown featuring Jennifer Weiner:
Here to Make Friends (Emma + Claire PLUS Andi Dorfman!)
The Most Dramatic Podcast in Bachelor History (Jensen + Melissa)
Coming up Roses (Barstool Sports)
Bachelor Party with Juliet Litman (Channel 33)
Bachelor Nation News:
Carly is single again (Us Weekly)
JoJo's brother's reality dating past (E! Online)'
JJ, stop being a douche (In Touch)