Ben's Bachelor Blog (People)
Heading into my last date with Lauren I was a mess. I hadn't been sleeping. I couldn't eat. I'm not sure if you guys could tell, but I lost over 15 pounds during this journey.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Yahoo! TV)
And the good news is that no one has to go home empty-handed. JoJo may not have gotten everlasting love this time around, but she’ll be back on May 23rd as your new Bachelorette. She’s an exciting and vibrant woman and she is ready to find the man of her dreams. Until then, Bachelor Nation, thank you for joining us for our historic 20th season. We love you!
As for the happy couple, I could have done without production’s bright idea to pressure them to get married then and there (based on this show’s track record, that sounds like the worst idea EVER), but Ben sidestepped it gracefully. And despite my misgivings over manipulation and the Bachelor “bubble,” seeing Ben and Lauren glowing up on that stage was a reminder of why we watch. They look so genuinely happy to have found each other, and since we all feel like we went on that journey with them, there’s an attachment to them as a couple that can’t be replicated.
I’ll end this with some words of advice for Jojo - Be open to finding love, but be prepared to not find it. Wear water proof mascara (lots of tears coming your way girl). Try to forget about the guys you like the first night, and even first week, so you can really focus on the ones you don’t know how you feel about yet. And finally, live in the moment and enjoy every second! I truly wish I let myself enjoy the experience more and didn’t take it so seriously. So have fun, kiss a lot and follow your heart.
I think JoJo is going to make the BEST Bachelorette ever (other than me of course lol). But JoJo couldn’t be more perfect to take on this role and I am so excited to watch her find the man of her dreams. She is so articulate, has great style, a gorgeous body, and just simply has everything going for her … she deserves a man who is head over heels for her!
“I’m a lost man right now,” he groans. “I’m lost.” It’s hard not to feel a little bad for the guy; he’s such a people pleaser that he couldn’t help but say “I love you” back to JoJo and Lauren, but now his neuroses-fed chicken have come home to roost.
Guys, Ben's life is so hard. This hopeless romantic managed to ensnare two women in his love web, and he just couldn't deal with his emotions. "I can't help how I feel!" Ben woefully told cameras. "I'm terrified because right now it's impossible for me to imagine saying goodbye to either of these women." #TheStruggle
In Jamaica, Ben’s spending every free moment hoping and praying for clarity. He’s in love with two women and he has no idea how to choose, especially when they wear matching jean cut-off shorts. Coming into this, Ben’s fear was that he was unlovable, and now, his problem is that he’s too lovable. (This just in: Single people everywhere collectively tell Ben to f— off.)
Obviously, Lauren said yes to Ben's proposal without ever knowing that Ben was also deeply in love with JoJo, to the point where he didn't decide which woman he was proposing to until the very last minute. All we can hope is that she found that out before she watched it unfold on TV, because otherwise that would have been dreadfully awkward.
When Ben flew his parents down to Jamaica and told them he still hadn't made his mind up between his final two women – and was actually in love with both of them – his mom's reaction said it all: "To know that Ben could possibly be in love with two women is really disturbing to me," she admitted. (Preach, Amy Higgins, preach.)
3. The Bachelorette wasn't supposed to be white, but Jojo...is?
ABC President Paul Lee said in January that the next Bachelorette would most likely be "diverse." Apparently Jojo Fletcher was a "last minute decision" and it was going to be Caila Quinn, who is biracial, up until recently. I can't say for certain that Jojo isn't also biracial, since we saw a few weeks ago that her mother is from America, but I don't know where she's from, and Jojo's cultural heritage was not a point of conversation like Caila's. [UPDATE: Jojo's mother Soraya is Persian. "I'm proud of my mother's background despite what social opinions are," Jojo writes in herBachelor bio. "It's important for me to stand up to people stereotyping Iranians."] But Jojo is a real estate developer from Dallas whose family lives in a gaudy McMansion, which is about as culturally white as can be. Jojo will be a much better Bachelorette than Caila, who is weird and not relatable, and I'm glad for TV's sake that it's Jojo. But it's disappointing that ABC made a public pronouncement about making progress and then reverted to the status quo.
JoJo didn’t want to be blindsided but here she is driving away in a limo in a gown with beading that's too heavy. All the women in the live audience applaud grimly.
But don’t stress for Jojo. She may not have gotten that ugly, 3 carat princess cut, but she was named the next Bachelorette (hallelujah.)
Since there were no more sea turtles to rescue, Ben is forced to tell Lauren that’s she’s practically perfect in every way and even though that’s technically not a bad thing, he often wonders if she’s too good to be true. He’s worried that their three-week relationship hasn’t been tested like the one he has with JoJo.
That is literally all they do on their final date — say “I love you” and ask if the other has any questions about their feelings. I would rather watch sports all day, sober, as a date than what I just watched happen between Lauren and Ben.
Then Chris mentioned that they were going to surprise Ben with a wedding. That’s right, a wedding. It’s like a surprise party, but one where you have to sign contracts at the end to become legally bound to a person you met less than a year ago. So like, super fun.
I’m so confused every time Ben says that he and Jojo have “made it through some rough times.” I’m sorry but does her Douche Lord of an ex-boyfriend leaving a voicemail constitute a rough time?
Reality Steve *Spoilers include five of JoJo's guys!*
The Bachelorette and the Switcheroo:
Don't worry, JoJo. Chris Harrison is ready to hose down the driveway at the mansion, just for you!
Please, no. NONONONONONO. (Us Weekly)
Here to Make Friends (Emma + Claire plus Jenny Mollen)
The Most Dramatic Podcast in Bachelor History (Jensen + Melissa)
Coming up Roses (Barstool Sports)
Bachelor Party with Juliet Litman (Channel 33)
Will you Accept this Podcast? (Bustle)
Bachelor Nation News:
Ben and Lauren go on their "first date" (Us Weekly)
Bachelor finale style secrets (People)
Matt Leinart could have been The Bachelor (Us Weekly)
...and just like that, this season is dunzo! We'll have offseason updates weekly (or so), and registration for JoJo's season begins soon - stay tuned!