What a fun day.
JoJo's Bachelorette Blog (People)
Robby, James and Chase were the three guys on my only group date this week, and I had planned an unbelievable date that had us camping in the majestic Argentinian countryside. Mother Nature, unfortunately, had other ideas. So, I decided to do a little staycation! I booked a big suite back in Buenos Aires and decided to set up camp indoors.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Yahoo! TV)
Sometimes the best plans are the ones that get ruined first. JoJo had intended to take Chase, Robby, and James on an epic camping date, but heavy rains and lightning made that date impossible. But JoJo didn’t want to miss out on any of her valuable time with these men, so she made it into a “Room Service and Chill” date. Of course it’s exciting to frolic all over the Argentinean countryside, but when you’re getting to know someone, sometimes it’s just as good to sit in a hotel room, get a back massage, eat some french fries, and talk about life.
I’ve just come from taping Us Weekly‘s Facebook Live recap, where it was quickly established that the universal opinion on last night’s episode was that it was extremely bad and incredibly boring. There were varying speculations as to why. One was that this season’s crop of guys isn’t very exciting and they (or what we see of them, rather) are all variations of the same person. Another was that we’ve all been watching this show for so long that you pick up on the franchise patterns and everything becomes too predictable to be interesting. Lastly, my own opinion was that the remaining guys all get along too well for any drama to ensue. And since the Powers That Be insist on focusing on half-hearted conflicts between the men (who cares if Robby’s checked out a Argentinian chick or two? When in Rome!), rather than focusing on real conversations with JoJo or funny house antics, the result is milquetoast television. It says something that the only time Andy perked up during the episode was during commercial break to watch those Bachelor in Paradise previews.
The whole “front-runner” conversation between the guys was kind of dumb in my opinion. EVERY guy should feel like the front runner, otherwise, why would you stick around?
I loved Jordan the MOST at the beginning but he’s getting on my nerves now. I can’t tell if he’s a smooth talker, a liar or if he is genuinely there for the right reasons anymore?
Robby needs to chill out on the tanning beds and crest white strips.
Luke came out of left field for me last night. He is FINALLY starting to open up and I THINK I can see a future with him and JoJo? But I’m not sure if she will pick him.
And then there’s that Chase guy … but I don’t really know him!?! Where has he been this whole season? Who is he?? I haven’t really got a chance to see who he is or what he’s about yet.
It does seem late in the game for Chase to suddenly be getting serious about his connection with JoJo, at least in comparison to some of the other guys left, and when he said he wants "to spend forever" with his leading lady, I laughed out loud. Boy, please! You are not actually at that point emotionally yet. You're saying that because you haven't interacted with a chick other than JoJo (and the female producers) in over six weeks.
Man, we’ve gone almost 10 minutes without checking in on Jordan’s hair. How’s it doing?
High and lustrous, as always.
Five of the whitest humans on earth rapping on an old-timey bus. What hell is this? What Partridge Family bullshit is this? Then, Alex tells JoJo to give him a topic so he can freestyle on it. Who told them to do this? Did all of their Macklemore haircuts trick them into thinking they are Macklemore? Is Robby going to start talking about how he legalized gay marriage? They stop at a roadside barbecue joint serving strange grilled meats and Jordan complains that he's a picky eater. Jordan, do you only eat noodles and butter? You look like you only eat noodles and butter.
JoJo tells Alex that she has too much respect for him to make him sit around all week. She places him in the rejection jalopy, willing him not to accidentally fling mud on her oatmeal-colored cashmere poncho. And that’s the last we heard from him. No tears. No outburst. No confession in the jalopy. No celebratory “whoop” from the remaining boys. Nothing. Peace out, Goocho.
I am now more curious than ever about how Jordan got a limo, private jet and winery excursion compared to two horse dates and a “slumber party” date.
JoJo tells us that she knew Luke was hot but that he’s also smart — before he says the word “like” 842 times in one breath, which is something smart people do not do.
After they ride horses, they go clay shooting and I think Luke has a lisp. JoJo calls this activity “skeet shooting” and I thought a skeet was something totally different based on my knowledge of rap music.
The final one-on-one date should be called Luke’s favorite things. The two ride horses and shoot skeet and make out against a brick wall. It’s basically a preview into Luke’s hometown date, or, as I like to think of it, the opening montage for the next season of the Bachelor.
The most significant part of the group date is that James Taylor pours his heart out to Jojo and says that he knows they don't have the same kind of physical chemistry that she has with other guys, but that he thinks what they have is even more special than that (um, what could be more special than a good boning sesh?). I like James Taylor and I'm really sad that decent guys like him will never make it to the top two on The Bachelorette. Dumb buff Robby gets the group date rose, which is all the more annoying since he went off about being the frontrunner. James Taylor is so drunk and upset that he spills his drink everywhere.
Jojo has had the opportunity to drink wine residue off of Jordan's feet, now that's intimacy. I’m pretty sure these two idiots skipped a few steps in the winemaking process, no? Because right now they're drinking grape juice with a side of athlete's foot
Here to Make Friends (Huffington Post)
Bachelorette Party with Juliet Litman (Channel 33)
The Most Dramatic Podcast in Bachelor History (Jensen + Melissa)
Coming up Roses (Barstool Sports)
Will You Accept this Podcast? (Bustle)
Bachelor Nation News:
Kristen Wiig as JoJo is my favorite thing I've seen this week.
The Hometown Dates Matchup for Bonus Points is open!
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