Slay, girl. SLAY.
JoJo's Bachelorette Blog (People)
Even though my conversations were so honest and open with all of the men, at the end of the cocktail party I still was so confused. I was banking on my gut kicking in to make a last minute decision, but standing there with one rose left and James and Alex before me, I just panicked. When it comes to finding a soul mate, you can't make an impulsive decision. I knew I needed more time.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Yahoo! TV)
But for me it was painful to watch someone like Wells, who was deliciously normal in staving off the pressure (while actively waiting for the “right moment”) to kiss JoJo, get sent home. Especially while Alex, who despite not having had a 1-on-1 still manages to make out with JoJo at every turn, remains.
Normally I say that the 2-on-1 date is usually between two people that the Bachelor/ette isn’t really into - but not in this case. This time, since it’s so late in the season, she had to choose one guy she was really into and one she knew she’d send home. Why? Because at this point in the process it would be a potential waste of a rose. And the roses mean A LOT more now. I think she knew she’d give Chase the rose well before the date started.
Well, well, Wells…do you need a map? Since you clearly can’t find your way out of the friend-zone.
Poor Derek is sent off to cry in the back of a black SUV like so many other good people have before him. He utters one of the weirdest things I've ever heard in an exit interview: "I'm Derek. Derek is imperfect." Never fall into the third person, guys! To make the exit moment even more dramatic, "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" plays as a backdrop to Derek's sobs. I just love it when the show makes fun of itself; everything is better when it's self-aware.
A melancholy Bachelorette strolls back into the Fuerza Bruta auditorium by herself, and stands amidst the cheering crowd in a circle of loneliness.
JoJo also tries to crawl inside Luke’s leather jacket to burrow next to him like a sloth baby. She cannot keep her hands off any of these high-haired Jim Carrey look-alikes. Jordan glares at James over his glass of wine like Cersei plotting a murder. Luke gets the group-date rose because JoJo is still living off him as a symbiont.
As “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” wafts into the grand ballroom, Derek cries defeated tears into the camera. The scene morphs back and forth between symbolic lyrical crying and real wet tears. Don’t worry Big Tuna. You’re Pam is out there. Probably on an island in the Caribbean known as Paradise. Say hello to Jorge for us!
When it’s Jordan’s turn to sit down with JoJo, she immediately says, “It’s been brought to my attention that you had an altercation with James [Taylor].” She continues to tell him that James is a “genuine soul” and that she “believes everything he said.” Jordanis visibly pissed and smiling with his mouth closed, which freaks me out. He explains that they had disagreed on the rules of a poker game and that’s it. He also claims he is not entitled, with a curt, “I hope you’d know that by now,” and then they just stare at each other for about as long as Luke and JoJo made out.
Spoiler alert, Jojo: You’re not ending up with Alex. Send Pee-Wee home, already. Even Alex knows he doesn’t belong here. He’s never gotten a one-on-one or a group date rose. Hell, the only way he survived the two-on-one was because he was up against Chad, the deli meat eating king of domain squatting.
I'm not sure I really understand what she sees in Luke. He seems like a nice guy, but I have individual flakes of dandruff with more personality. It feels like it takes effort for him to speak. Maybe he would be hot if this were the 90s, but he just doesn't do it for me in 2016.
Here to Make Friends (Huffington Post)
Bachelorette Party with Juliet Litman (Channel 33)
The Most Dramatic Podcast in Bachelor History (Jensen + Melissa)
Coming up Roses (Barstool Sports)
Bachelor Nation News:
Jordan plotted to be the next Bachelor (Us Weekly)