It's mandatory that you do this at a soccer game, right?
Nick's Bachelor Blog (People)
Having Jaimi school me on milking the cow was also hilarious. I know it looks like I was only trying for a few seconds, but in reality I had been trying to milk the cow for what felt like an eternity. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.
One of the funniest moments of the day that you didn’t see was a little something we called, the cheese roll. Picture this: All of us on top of the hill with farmer Charlie holding a wheel of cheese. Charlie tossed the cheese down the hill, and the second the cheese was tossed, it was a race to the cheese. I mean, I’ve never seen girls move faster in my life. Kristina made it to the cheese first and the other girls victoriously cheered around her. It was seriously the funniest and weirdest moment of the day and Kristina continued to snack on the cheese for the rest of the date.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Yahoo! TV)
The group date was truly wonderful and bizarre. Sure, Nick isn’t a dairy farmer and this will not be a big part of his life, but there’s something to be said for rolling up your sleeves and just digging in, so to speak. Corinne, in her usual fashion, found a way to stand out.
Sharleen Joynt for FLARE Magazine
I basically just copied 90% of Sharleen's blog this week because it was so. dang. good.
But let’s be honest here: The ladies’ issue with Corinne isn’t the fact that she isn’t mature, has a nanny or needs to sleep a lot. It’s the fact that she’s a pain in the ass to live with. I’ve mentioned before that it’s not so much about what some women do that bothers the others; it’s the fact that while they’re doing it, the other women are sitting around twiddling their thumbs for hours. (Yes, hours.) I’m reminded of when Jubilee gave Ben a massage on his season; the girls were deeply irritated, but I’m telling you, it wasn’t the massage. It’s the fact that they couldn’t go to sleep until that massage concluded, Ben was taken to do an ITM about it, the girls all did their ITMs about it, and everyone had discussed the massage ad nauseam. Before you know it, that Rose Ceremony’s taking place at 3 a.m. (Don’t even get me started on how long those take.) My point is, I don’t think Taylor, Sarah and the other ladies’ main beef was really with that bouncy castle. Sure, Corinne was pretty exhibitionistic in her Nick straddling, but I swear, the womens’ concern has more to do with the fact that that already tedious evening cannot wrap up until the damn bouncy castle does.
This is where the sleeping comes in. There is a social decorum in all arenas in life, including the Bachelor mansion. This unique social decorum includes (but isn’t limited to) not stealing the lead away when you have a rose and other girls haven’t had their time (tsk, tsk, Danielle L!), not gloating about a rose, not being a poor sport, and not passing out while the other girls force themselves to stay awake for hours. To give you an example from my experience, it was frustrating when you were stuck in another long, late night ITM (because you weren’t aggressive enough to butt in front of others for an earlier slot), and other girls routinely signed up for the later ITM slots the next morning. (Meaning, while you’ve had to stay up later, you’re also forced to wake up earlier… and again, I’m talking hours.) It’s a lack of consideration for others, and Corinne is proving to excel in this department. Her trotting off to sleep while the other girls exhaustedly stick it out isn’t just her being tired. Her actions say: “The rules don’t apply to me.” And, in the case of last week’s Rose Ceremony (the one Corinne slept through), the whipped cream incident likely made the entire evening run longer and later, which makes the fact that she went off to bed even more irritating. Again, it’s not the fact that she sleeps, but rather what that sleep represents.
Now, I’m the first person to point out that she was permitted to sleep. Obviously, since her sleeping was caught on camera, production had to have had some involvement in encouraging and/or allowing it to happen. But, for once, I don’t blame them. I blame the girl who, as I mentioned on my blog last week, has a tendency to behave like she was raised by wolves. Manners, empathy, and yes, emotional intelligence just aren’t her strong suits. The thing with Corinne is, if she’s going to ignore that social decorum, she cannot be surprised when it rubs others wrong. I was truly flabbergasted when she played victim and was so thin-skinned this week with regards to the other women’s issues with her. Were they really that much of a surprise?
Don't miss Sharleen's full recap on her website too!
First, let’s talk about bad ass Vanessa! That girl impressed me so much last night. So I have to start this blog by talking about her baller-move at the beginning of the episode. She laid it all out there for Nick and was as real as she could possibly be without the fear of getting sent home. The reason I love that so much is too often women (and men on the Bachelorette) say what they think the Bachelor wants to hear just so they won’t get sent home. That’s NOT how real relationships are formed. Vanessa took a big risk by calling Nick out the way she did, especially since I think she really likes him and didn’t want to be sent home. But being treated with respect was far too important to her to just let Nick’s behavior slide.
Then, Chris Harrison repeated Colin Frissell's words from Love Actually, "[You're] going to a fantastic place... called Wisconsin" and the women were super excited!!!! About as excited as I was for Iowa with Chris Soules!!! (*insert eye roll emoji here*)
A moment for Raven's bad boyfriend horror story, because wow. While discussing her past relationships, she tells Nick about the time she walked in on her ex cheating on her mid-sex — she's blunt enough to say, “I know what her vagina looks like" — and then proceeded to beat her ex with a stiletto. This was such an epic Bachelor moment. I like how this girl knows her worth and sticks up for herself.
Yahoo! TV by Kristen Baldwin
Later that night over drinks, Nick launches into an investigation into Danielle’s personality (or lack thereof): Is there something more complex under her “incredibly nice” surface? Sure, there are layers: Danielle explains that her parents’ divorce when she was 17 left her a little commitment-phobic, and … well, that’s about it. And you know what? It’s good enough for Nick. “She has so many of the qualities I’m looking for in a wife,” he says.
Vulture by Ali Barthwell
It's time for the second one-on-one date with Raven, the girl who everyone thought was a leftover from Luke's casting session. (Maybe one day, Luke … ) Nick spends the entire day telling Raven that she's the perfect person to meet his family. Not because he's into her, but because she probably wouldn't be mean to his little sister. This is weird AF.
I Hate Green Beans by Lincee Ray
Lo and behold, when Nick and Danielle leave the bakery, they run into one of Nick’s exes at the coffee shop down the street. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
I’d say the odds of the ABC Intern trolling Facebook for a few hours, securing the name of a couple of ex-girlfriends in the area, paying the town mayor’s secretary a few Benjamins in exchange for a phone number, and promising to grant free air time showcasing that woman’s charming little bakery in downtown Waukesha in exchange for an accidental run-in on national television is pretty high.
Possessionista by Dana Weiss
The final one-on-one goes to Raven, and it’s the Jade date – you know, the one where the Bachelor brings one girl home to meet his parents way too soon, and uncovers some pretty disturbing, intimate information about her. It all starts innocently enough, sitting on the sidelines of Nick’s little sister Bella’s soccer game. “Raven,” Mr. Viall remarks, “That’s an interesting name,” silently hoping his son hasn’t brought home a stripper.
TV Lust by Abby Draper
As they walk to start their date, Nick tells Danielle L. a story of being dared to jump into the dirty lake they were passing for $12 when he was a kid. “You could do a lot with $12 back in that day,” he says, and I laugh out loud because that was like 30 years ago for him and she wasn’t even born.
Reality Steve (SPOILERS!)
Usually when they all click glasses at the end before they’re about to start travelling, the lead is the one that tells everyone where they’re headed. But as I mentioned in the spoilers, they were supposed to be headed to South Carolina for episode 4, but the hurricane cancelled those plans. Chris Harrison even said in an interview that things were touch and go and they didn’t know where they were headed as things had to be thrown together last minute. So that’s why we see him tell the girls the next morning that they’re headed to Nick’s hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconin!!!!! I think maybe 3 of the 15 girls left showed emotion.
“We’re in Wisconsin and I couldn’t be happier,” Danielle M says and she couldn’t look less happy.
“Cows are okay” – Corinne
I don’t really understand this date becasue Nick would never do this. Like, have you seen his low cut V-necks? You can’t be a farmer in those clothes.
Nick is extra lispy today and informs the girls they are going to do chores, hip hip pick up some hay. They feed cows, they shovel a lot of shit, and Corrine just can’t take it. The ladies are mad, Corrine just wants sushi, Nick gives blue balls to a cow.
I checked with my Wisconsin experts and WauKe$ha is NOT a small town. It's the 7th largest city in the state with a population of 70K. This whole sequence is what I like to call #AlternativeFacts. They decide to hang out with the ex-girlfriend who seems to have more spark and personality than any of the contestants on the show. I do not know what they discussed, because I was too busy refusing to be fooled by ABC.
Here to Make Friends with Emma and Claire and special guest Caila Quinn (Huffington Post)
Bachelor Party with Juliet Litman and David Jacoby (Channel 33)
Coming up Roses with Barstool Chief, Barstool Trent, Kelly Keegs and special guest Vinnie Ventiera (Barstool Sports)
Rose Buddies with Griffin and Rachel McElroy
The Bachelor Pod with literally the most Canadian Canadians ever
The Most Dramatic Bachelor Podcast Yet with Katie Aldrin and Sam Chalsen
Reality Steve with Kacie Boguskie Gaston (SPOILERS!)
Broses Before Roses with four dudes in a room. That's actually how they describe it.
Will You Accept this Podcast? (Bustle)
Bachelor Nation News:
Are you still wondering what Corinne's multi-million dollar company is? Garage flooring.
Jason Mesnick tells his side of his Bachelor story (Huffington Post)
5 Bachelor Conspiracy Theories (Betches)