I can't stop watching this.
Alex is husband material. Chad, however, has a lot of work to do before he gets to that point. Hopefully someday he'll get there. I know he has it in him.
And how about those cliffhanger “To Be Continued” endings? Something about the dramatic previews for the upcoming episode, complete with gasps and screams and bloodied noses and brows, shots of a menacing-looking Chad trudging about, culminating with an orchestrated soundtrack… only to close with the golden The Bachelorette logo and that familiar photo of JoJo looking radiant, smiling with a rose in hand… Maybe I’m over-thinking it, but I’m hung up on how ridiculous that is. As if the in-house drama and our Bachelorette’s quest for love go hand-in-hand and poor JoJo has no choice but to withstand Chad’s antics to make sure—really, really sure—that he isn’t The One.
Luke is definitely being set up as the next Bachelor. Jojo is into him for sure, but not in the same way she’s into Jordan. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong and Jojo will end up with Luke, but my gut tells me otherwise. Every single sweet thing he says is in the show for us to hear. Sweet music is in the background whenever he talks. The show wants us to love Luke and I have to say, it’s working! What a sweetheart!
Interestingly enough, throughout the episode, I got so many pro-Chad tweets; there's a Bachelor Nation contingent pretty sure that Alex and Evan are the real instigators. I think the truth may lie in between, and that the guys probably should start focusing more on their personal relationships with JoJo, not with Chad.
Incidentally, a lot of people ask me if Bachelor villains are really as villainous as they seem on TV. I can only speak from my own experience, but the girls of my season all agree that Kelsey Poe was even worse than she appeared on TV.
Because Evan is made of glass and pettiness, he smashes his nose, and the pool has to be emptied and sterilized. JoJo takes some time to float around with each of the guys, making sure to keep her false eyelashes dry. When it's time for her to have some one-on-one time with Jordan, she leaps into his arms and wraps her legs around his waist. Good Lord, JoJo. Keep it in your pants.
I also love that JoJo and Robby were the only two who didn’t get their hair wet. Hair extensions are hard to maintain, y’all. It’s better to be safe than saggy.
They arrive to the middle of a forest, where there is a hot tub — because, "The Bachelorette" — and she tells him it is a wood-burning tub so to warm it up, he has to chop wood. Forcing manual labor on a first date definitely works, right? Before he swings his ax, he asks how hot she likes it and she says, “HOT!” which I find hard to believe based on the men she has kept around.
The group date card has arrived with 12 names on it. Do you know how I know there are 12 names? Because for the next 40 minutes, all Chad will do is complain about how he doesn’t want to be on a date with 12 guys. Never mind that this is how the show works. When Jordan, whose brother is Aaron Rodgers, reminds him that this is the process, Chad responds by calling him a failed football player who has done nothing but throw a piece of leather.
And I object. I mean, I bet he’s had dinner with Olivia Munn, too, which is a major accomplishment in my book.
Now the Interns have to work overtime, Daniel.
Whenever ABC wants to slowly murder me, they air TWO episodes of The Bachelorette in one week. This causes me a great deal of emotional distress. It's not right, I tell you. It's not right to make any human being watch four hours of this franchise in two days. And not in the same week of the Unreal Premiere. I know what you're up to, ABC scheduling execs. In the words of Canadian Daniel you're like Hitler.
Here to Make Friends (Huffington Post)
Bachelorette Party with Juliet Litman (Channel 33)
The Most Dramatic Podcast in Bachelor History (Jensen + Melissa)
Coming up Roses (Barstool Sports)
Bachelor Nation News:
Chad's 56 Best Quotes from The Bachelorette (Thrillist)
Bachelorette Post-Mortem: An interview with Alex (Yahoo! TV)
The first official cast announcement for Bachelor in Paradise! (Entertainment Weekly)
Chad, we love you. Come back. (The Ringer)
This completely absurd scene sums up the entire series (Baltimore Sun)
ALSO. Help me rationalize why I, an almost-37-year-old mom of 2, should attempt to go out in the home-from-college-party-haven that is Dive Bar Buckhead this Saturday night. Because JAMES TAYLOR LIVES IN ATLANTA, Y'ALL.
I never want to encourage drinking for family / personal reasons... But they'll sell you a soda here if you want one and I do encourage good music and fun! Tonight and Saturday are my last 2 days playing at Dive for a while because we're hitting some other states - but hope to see y'all tn and sat and have a blast! @ 10:30. Thanks ATL!