It may be non-sensical when typed out, but one of my favorite moments of the episode was when James S. says about Chad, "There's nothing that can give you a gift, in this case 'a Chad,' that can use a weight belt in such a revolutionary way. It's a gift from above."
And Chase chimes in with a sassy Australian accent, saying, "We found a rare meathead."
And at this point, we're just getting started with The Chad.
The Firefighter Training Date:
Some of the dudes get suited up in full firefighter regalia and are put through the motions of what looks to be Day 1 of firefighter training.
Quote of the date, from Damn Daniel: "The last time I pulled hose like that was back home...in my apartment." (smirk)
Grant wins the firefighter challenge, gets extra time with JoJo, and they make out. Surprisingly, his jawline doesn't cut her face.
Meanwhile, back at home, James Taylor leads everyone except Chad in a song: "JoJo, where'd you go? You've been on a date, we've been missing you at home."
The Chad is not impressed.
Derek's date is boring.
Derek is cute but BORING.
JoJo seems to like him, though.
The SportsNation date is pretty awesome. The stunts may have been silly, but I bet it was pretty awesome to spend the day at ESPN.
And then The Chad calls JoJo "naggy," and she somehow manages to not send him home right then and there. Instead, she "admires his honesty." Um?
James Taylor gets the highest power ranking AND the group date rose. I know, he's not for everyone, but I have a soft spot for James Taylor. He reminds me of guys I went to college with.
The Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony
WHO KNEW that there was food before the rose ceremonies? I didn't. And apparently there's a shit-ton of lunch meat. Guess what? The Chad ate it all. His plate is full of "lean 'tein," as my brother-in-law would say.
And then a gang forms, with the sole purpose of confronting the dude eating all of the meat. Literally, the background music has snapping in it as Chad references West Side Story.
Canadian Daniel calls it like he sees it: "Like a gang, eh?"
Alex and Chad go at it, and Chad threatens to smash in Alex's teeth. No blood is drawn - yet. The previews lead us to believe there will be fisticuffs, but we've been misled before, so who knows what we'll actually see.
Chad, with a zinger: "She's going to keep Alex around because she doesn't want America to think she hates short people."
In the end, we say good bye to James S./Superfan, Will with the awkward kiss, and Hipster Brandon. Sayonara, Bachelors. 20% chance we see any of you in Paradise.
Finally, TWO! NIGHTS! NEXT! WEEK! That's four hours of The Bachelorette, and my rose-loving heart almost can't handle it.