Where'd they get that janky ass trophy, anyway?
Arie's Bachelor Blog (People)
One moment that wasn’t in the show: one night at the mansion Tia set up champagne glasses for us to shoot like a carnival game. And that’s who Tia is: the type of person to shoot Nerf guns in a cocktail dress. Sitting next to Tia on the airboat, swampland as far as the eye could see, I couldn’t help but keep laughing. The everglades are beautiful and bug-filled and absolutely spectacular.
Chris Harrison’s Blog (Entertainment Weekly)
Something about Arie’s inability to give Krystal the affirmation she felt she deserved really threw her over the edge. I can’t say I fully blame her. When you get an early one-on-one and have to wait around it can be very emotionally taxing. Becca K admittedly was having a hard week as well, but the ways that she and Krystal handled it were basically polar opposites. Krystal seemed to feel like Arie didn’t care about her, but perhaps the most perplexing thing about the whole week was that she chose to not spend more time with Arie because she didn’t feel like she wasn’t going to have enough time with Arie? I’m confused. And so was Arie.
Sharleen Joynt (FLARE Magazine)
We’re already halfway through the season but there are still SEVEN women I can see going very far, and possibly to the end. Bekah M, Becca K, Chelsea, Tia and Seinne are all major contenders. There are two dark horses, Kendall and Lauren B. They’ve both sort of come out of nowhere (they didn’t have much screen time in the first few episodes), but their chemistry with Arie is so convincing it has me wondering if the show is shedding its usual airtime/edit formula by allowing Catherine Lowe-levels of dark horse-ery.
Don't miss Sharleen's full recap on her website too!
Ali Fedotowsky (aliluvs.com)
Is it just me or does it seem like Arie is hardcore making out with so many of the girls? Looking back on past seasons I just don’t remember this much hardcore kissing. There’s always been kissing, but I feel like he has passionately made out with at least 10 girls now. Am I wrong? I’m not hating on him or anything. I just feel like all the kisses can’t seem genuine to me. Like the romance doesn’t feel real because it doesn’t seem to be leaning towards any particular person. Honestly I’m totally stumped as to who he’s going to end up with in the end because right now he seems super into a bunch of the girls. Well, at least he’s super into passionately making out with a bunch of the girls.
Rachel Lindsay (Us Weekly)
As night turns to day, brace yourself for the most dramatic group date ever. The ladies on the group date get to go bowling. I personally appreciated the simplicity in this date and the over 50-year-old crowd. Now most of you were probably disturbed by Arie’s dance routine and intimate moment with his bowling ball. We all understand the Big Lebowski reference. I, however, appreciated seeing a more playful side of Arie. So if it takes funky socks, some Latin music, and the lick of a ball to bring this out of Arie, then Big Rach is here for it!
Entertainment Weekly by Kristen Baldwin
“On the bus, on the way home, Krystal literally, like, lost her mind,” reports Ashley gravely. I’m guessing she means figuratively, but back at the hotel Krystal is definitely losing her s— on The Bachelor crew. “I’m changing, so if someone wants to take my microphone off, or I’m taking it off myself,” she snaps at some poor off-camera plebe. Meanwhile Maquel reports that Krystal repeatedly called Arie “a liar” during the bus ride, which is all the more reason why we need cameras on those damn buses, Team Bachelor!!!
Vulture by Ali Barthwell
She’s got Kelly Kapoor’s personality in Kelly LeBrock’s body. The idea that she was created by two teenage boys with a computer program and an ’80s fitness Barbie is not far-fetched at this point. Never before have I seen someone who was so sure of their cleverness and been so completely wrong. Other people’s emotions confuse and infuriate her. She’s such a terrific reality-TV villain that I expect her to be offered a position in Trump’s Cabinet any minute as the secretary of Just Feeling So Attacked Right Now.
I Hate Green Beans by Lincee Ray
I’d like to take this time in the recap to point out that Seinne was legit wearing a silk button-down pajama top and no bottoms. Apparently the fashion industry decided to phone in 2018 and we are left with the reality that this is an actual thing. Do we know if Seinne was wearing bootie shorts under her pajama top? No, we do not. Is it a travesty that I had to ask the question? I believe so.
Possessionista by Dana Weiss
Unfortunately, we’re just going to have to take the Bachelorettes’ words for it, though, because none of it was caught on tape. What? What is even happening this season? We’ve had zero helicopters, one shitty hot tub and now we’re not even having cameras on the party bus? This is like Real Housewives 101. Get your shit together, ABC.
Wait, so Maquel gets to just come back? Seinne is like “she bounced back from that death in the family a lot sooner than we all expected” and it’s like, yeah, I thought her grief would last longer than 48 hours as well.
MAQUEL: I felt jealous when I saw Arie and Chelsea together. I was like, “dang I want to be on a yacht.”
Don’t ever say Maquel isn’t here for the right reasons, people.
Bachelor Nation Weekly (Afterbuzz)
Wells's Drunk Snapchat:
#drunksnapchat for ep.5 of #thebachelor is here! What happened...I dunno. They went bowling. Krystal was able to win and lose and win again. Bekah escapes from jail, taxidermy girl explains how she would eat human flesh and Arie makes a girl whose grandma died feel a little bit worse, which was impressive. Oh, I play some Tracy Chapman on the guitar, cus, you know...alcohol.
Posted by Wells Adams on Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Almost Famous with Ashley I and Ben Higgins, featuring Bibiana Julian and Chad Johnson (iHeartRadio)
Bachelor Live with Julia Cunningham and Robert Mills (EW Radio)
Bachelor Party with Juliet Litman and Rachel Lindsay (The Ringer)
Here to Make Friends with Claire and Emma, featuring Erin Darke (Huffington Post)
I Hate Green Beans with Lincee Ray and Some Guy in Austin
Rosecast with Rim and AB
Whine with Kelly featuring Caroline Lunny (Podcast One)
Will you Accept this Rose? at SF Sketchfest with Arden Myrin et al. (Nerdist)
Bachelor Nation News:
Danielle M. is dating some guy from Big Brother (Us Weekly)
Nick is actually funny:
Some people weren’t happy I kept Corrine around so long, but she at least made you laugh and didn’t take herself too seriously. Krystal doesn’t even have a nanny. Like whateves #thebachelor
— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) January 30, 2018
A few things:
- Bachelorette Status + Points, Episode 5, plus Bonus Results
- Standings are posted on league pages (Public, Private)
- Check out this season's list of bonus questions
- Bachelor League's Episode 5 Commentary